Lol, so I'm all tired and just trying to finish up a few things before I go to bed, right?

And I make the mistake of downloading the "gift" Kill Hannah gave the KHK.

And at first, I'm thinking, "Well, I've got a ton of YouTube videos up, and it's not that I'm sick of Gossip Girl or anything, but a little KH would be a nice change, and I would like to get a taste of this album I'll probably never be able to afford... plus NYC Speed was like, my FAVORITE song they never released... so here's to an oldie but a goodie."

And I wait patiently, and refuse to mess with anything else, because even if I listen to it once, I at least want it to be a straight-through, with none of that skipping because halfway through the download I opened a window or something.

And finally, everything settles, and after fussing with my computer and convincing it to use WMP to play the file, I begin to listen.

And about twenty seconds in.... BAM.

*headsplode*

*love*

x_carnivale_x

Note: When it comes to slash, I don't have men, I have boys. Not because I'm some perv who's into child porn, but because there's something about those guys that makes them "my boys," and no matter how mature a guy acts or looks, if I've designated them as my boy, they will always and forever be one of my boys. Just sayin'.

Slash is so beautiful. It's captivating and wonderful and slightly taboo and it just draws you in deep and you never want to leave. I got my writing start in slash, and you wouldn't believe the kind of worlds slash has opened up for me, including the one right before my eyes. It's just that good.

5. Alabama

Oh my God, how I hate this state. Everyone tries to tell me that I'm going to find ignorant rednecks and beer-drinking assholes everywhere I go, but I believe there is a fierce difference between the well-dressed, intelligent man who happens to enjoy football and drink a Budweiser when he goes to the local bar, and the idiot who wants to sit on his front porch and talk about n***ers and f***ots, whose yard is littered with cans and cigarette butts, who lives in a trailer and keeps a gun in every pick-up. I hate being in a town where all I hear at night is coyotes, where every person I meet wants to tell me I'm wrong for not wanting to torture and brutally murder every Middle Eastern I meet, that I'm wrong for thinking that ALL forms of sexuality are cruel, that cruelty to animals is NOT okay... again, I could go on. I hate this community so much sometimes. I hate the fact that my favorite bands will never come to Alabama because there isn't a large enough fanbase. I hate thinking I have to know every lyric to every Alan Jackson song and be totally in tune with Toby Keith's beliefs in order to fit in, and that I can't enjoy a civilized conversation every once in awhile. I hate that everyone thinks it's okay to beat the fuck out of their children, because that's socially acceptable. I hate that you have to be some form of Christian. I hate that you have to be just like whoever you're talking to, and being different is an excuse for someone to beat you, to death if they can't get their issues in check soon enough.

And again, I know this exists everywhere, and that nearly everyone who reads this will feel the same about their community. But here in the South, I think it's of a higher concentration, and I want to get out as soon as possible. I hate myself everytime I'm forced to listen to a "friend" use a word that should never be a part of ANYONE's vocabulary, and I hate the hopeless feeling that comes with the realization that 99% of the people I'm ever going to meet down here will be the same way, and that the best I can do is pick someone who isn't as bad as the rest of the population, and try to accept it as the best I'll ever be able to get.

All of that aside, though, I will say this: You will never find a more beautiful sunset as the one seen from my parents' front porch. Fourth of July events are even more breath-taking when you can sit and look over the trees - not the buildings, not the traffic or highways, and not the crowded houses, but the trees and see four or five firework displays as clear as if you were standing beneath them. Being able to go out on the back deck and see every star in the sky without driving twenty miles out of town is something worth staying here for, but I'm hoping that I can find that just as easily everywhere else as I will those hateful assholes I'm surrounded by.



Okay. Your turn!!

I'm alive, but I just found out Jonny left KH, so I kinda feel like crying. And then I feel guilty for being so far behind the loop, and... blah. Oh, well.

I'm currently sharing one-half of Kasey's bed in their new two-bedroom apartment. We're still in the process of moving twenty years of furniture and memories and LIFE into this tiny apartment, so naturally, her mom has thrown a few fits and gotten depressed and maniacally laughed about it, while Kasey and I are both, "Let's get what we need packed and get out of here, ASAP."
 

Which is why Kase and I spent our first night here last night, and her mom is debating between letting us move her bed and stuff tomorrow, and continuing to go through everything we've already packed up and labeled "Donate to Yard Sale" while NOT packing anything she might actually need... like, her clothes or shoes. It's really frustrating, and yeah, we've bitched quite a bit about her constant setbacks - including the constant "I worked ALLLLL day, I'm so tired, I just don't want to do ANYTHING," while Kasey has worked just as many hours, but instead of coming home and fixing one of what will be MANY drinks and plopping herself in front of the television, she has kept going, packing boxes and loading furniture into the truck and calling to get the satellite transferred to the apartment and so much more... so at the end of the day, her mom's drunk again and garbling her way through Gunsmoke and Bonanza reruns, while Kasey has gotten up at seven am to take her mom to work, packed boxes, went to work at eleven, got off at three to come home and move the couch, counted tips to make sure she had enough gas to get back home for a third load of boxes and miscellaneous stuff, then stayed up til one am unpacking dishes and her clothes and putting her bed together, before FINALLY crashing so she could get up at seven the next morning and take her mom back to work.

Seriously, it's pretty fucking annoying to see all the progress we've made to move in here and then to see her mom do absolutely nothing but faux-cry about all the shit she has to leave behind. AND THEN SHE WANTS TO GET DRUNK AND MAKE A LIST OF CHORES FOR US?!!?

Yeah, that's happened several times in the past week, and me and Kase have ignored it every single time.



Well, except for the basic shit, like washing dishes, but only because we wanted to pack them when they were clean and dry. Or going through the closets upstairs, but only because underneath all the crap from Kasey's parents' divorce, and all the shit her older brother and shoved in there when we was younger, there were some mint-condition LPs that would be worth money, and someone had mentioned a few boxes of ancient National Geographics that were also worth money.

Ugh.




In other news, we got the car fixed, but we're still having a little trouble with the starter solenoid (or that's what they say it is, I'm not entirely sure that's what it's called/how it's spelled, but work with me).... and Mom talked to Verizon. My phone was suspended for three months. If I get a job, they'll unsuspend it, but if I don't, they'll continue suspension until my contract runs out. :/


And the laptop battery is fixing to die out, so I'm gonna make the rest of this kinda short. I've started writing again, but I can't use my PC because it's fucked and sitting in the bottom of a closet, so no posting. Plus, it's not even KH... or slash, really.


Can't think of anything else I was gonna mention, but feel free to comment if you wanted an update on some aspect of my life and I forgot to cover it. Lol, be back later...

Jess

WANTED: Well-written, novel-length fic. Crack or angst is welcome, preferably no fluff. No beastiality, vampires, "sexy squid monsters," or side-pairings with ancient professors (no offense to McGonagall or Dumbledore). Depression, suicidal feelings, bloodplay, becoming a child again, physical or sexual abuse from family members, male pregnancy,... all allowed. AU okay if done tastefully.

Thank you, and... begin.

got fired from work. more details on longer post later. 

Hello everyone. I am Jessica's sister, Lorna. Jessica wanted me to get on and tell you all that she is alive and well. It's just that her computer is having diffuculties; therefore, she won't be able to post for quite awhile. She is very sorry about this. She hopes to have her computer fixed, and have her internet running smoothly so she can get back on. However, it make take a long time. Thank you for your time.

Hi! This journal will probably end up being mostly friends' only entries... but I don't have a cool graphic to put here yet, so this is all you non-friends are going to get. 

Um... still looking for a new layout, comment to be added, yes I was bluemonkeyz8 but am now imjustdifrent.

I think that covers everything... so g'day!